LOVE IS WICKED

                                                   

YOU GIVE IT ALL YOU HAVE; IT BRINGS YOU NOTHING BUT SORROW, TEARS AND HELL.
YOU LIE IN THE DARK, BEGINNING TO FEEL YOURSELF AS ONE OF THE ACCURSED NUMBERS IN SATAN’S KINGDOM. BUT YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT IN HELL. YOU ARE IN YOUR ROOM, ON YOUR BED AND IN THE DARK.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE STILL ALIVE BECAUSE THE PAIN IS STILL THERE AND DEAD MEN FEEL NO PAIN. YOU LOCK YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM AND CRY YOUR EYES SORE.
AS YOU LIE ON YOUR BED, YOU MOUTH OCCASIONALLY, THE NAME OF THE MAN WHO ONCE MEANT THE LIFE AND ALL THAT WAS SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL TO YOU AND WHICH NOW REPRESENTS FOR YOU DEATH, DESPAIR AND BETRAYAL.
“BEN, WHY DID YOU DO IT?” YOU ASK BUT THE ONLY REPLY YOU GET IS THE SOFT ALMOST INAUDIBLE WHISPER OF THE WALL SUCKING IN YOUR UNANSWERABLE QUESTION. THE WALLS HAVE EARS BUT THEY ARE DUMB AND CAN’T SPEAK.
THE TRUTHS WILL HIT YOU SO HARD AND SOBER YOU UP. YOU LAY BACK AND LET YOUR MIND GO TO HOW TRICKY AND NASTY LIFE COULD GET, AND ALSO TO HOW TREACHEROUS AND DECEPTIVE GUYS CAN GET. YOU LAY BACK AND CONJURE UP THE HANDSOME FACE OF THAT GUY WHOSE LOVE BROUGHT SO MUCH JOY ONCE. YOU FEEL THE SWEET NOSTALGIA AND DEEP REGRET. YOU FEEL THE RASH OF A SMILE AND THE BLISTERS OF A FROWN, YOU FEEL EXHILARATING JOY AND DEEP SORROW.
BUT IT IS FUTILE, IN VAIN. THOSE MOMENTS HAVE PASSED AND THEY ARE GONE. YOU SEE YOURSELF FALLING, SMOKING BACK INTO THE ABYSS OF DESPAIR AND REGRET. EVERYTHING HAS GONE WRONG, SO STORMINGLY WRONG. ROMANCE IS, GONE LAUGHTER IS GONE AND SO IS BLISS. YOUR LIFE BECOMES SAD, GLOOMY AND FULL OF DESPAIR. THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR MERRIMENT OR CHEER.
YOUR LIFE BECOMES FOR YOU A SAD TERRIBLE AND HORRIFYING STORY OF REGRET, DECEPTION, TREACHERY AND ANGER BUT IT’S NOT DONE YET.
YOU TRY TO BRING YOURSELF TO CRY BUT THE TEARS WOULD NOT COME. NOW YOU JUST HAVE TO LAY ON YOUR BED WITH DRY EYES, STARING UP INTO THE DARKNESS AND SEEING NOTHING BUT THE FACE OF THE AUTHOR OF YOUR DISASTER.
“ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR” -ANONYMOUS